Friday, April 19, 2013

I keep seeing him over and over again...

The image flashes clearly in my mind over and over again. Sometimes it makes sense why the image flashes in my mind, like when I hear and see the news about recent tragedies in Boston and Texas. Sometimes it feels more  random, like while waiting for my tea water to boil.

The image that flashes repeatedly is that of the body of a dead man lying on the side of the road in Port Au Prince.  I see his body lying over the curb, his face, the blood on the space where is hairline met the crown of his head, the empty look in his wide open eyes.

I saw him the first time a few days ago.

I was perched on the back of a moto, smiling at the beauty of my life here in Haiti.  It was a sunny afternoon and I was leaving a yoga class for teen girls from a tent camp and going to teach yoga class at the yoga studio.

A smile was painted on my face from the time Alexson, my new moto driver, picked me up.
We sped along the hilly and dusty streets and I gazed about in wonder and amazement as I do every time I get on a moto in Haiti.

Staring out at the distant mountains that rest in a light haze of afternoon clouds always makes calms my mind. I love mountains.  As we speed along, I see the hillsides covered in a dazzling density of concrete houses packed into the hillsides. This sight always leaves me in a state of wonder and amazement.  We zoom past the local artisan stands full of brightly colored Haitian art for sale, and then we get into the density of the part of Port Au Prince called Petion-ville.

I love being on the back of a moto in the city as we move in and out of traffic at less than harrying speeds. I am free to smell, feel, and stare at the life on the streets as Alexson keeps us safely moving toward our destination.

That was when I saw him. A dead man lying on the side of the street.  His body was laying over the curb. There was blood on his head, and his eyes were wide open.  I gasped. I wanted to stop.  But we were moving fast and what would I say to Alexson? I turned around and saw a police car was there - what more could I do?  I looked forward again as we kept moving toward the yoga studio.

I arrived at the yoga studio and taught my class with no mention of seeing the dead man. I have told no one. It wasn't something to small talk about.

I saw the dead man the first time an afternoon earlier this week.  I have seen him again and again ever since.  The image keeps popping into my mind at the strangest times.  Death. That is what it looks like.

There has been lot of death and tragedy in the US news this week.  Seeing the body of that dead man has reminded me that there is always death and tragedy in our world.  Some of it makes big news.  Every day there is death and dying. Some of it timely, some of it tragic.

What can I do in the face of such tragedy?  My only answer is to love. To love completely and to love fully. To continue this journey of self healing and to share the light that comes out of of my own healing with as many people as I can.  I can't do anything to stop all tragedy and suffering there is in the world. But I can be a part of creating more light and love.

I keep seeing his face, and I keep telling him he was loved. I keep seeing his face and I thank him for letting me see him like that to remind me how precious life is and that all I can do is to heal and to love. On Purpose in Haiti - here I am.